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The hardest thing for me is to hear of guys and girls going through the same awful breakup pain, and trying poorly thought out ideas to get back an ex. We’ll get into those mistakes next.

As you start to look at ways to get back your ex, you’ll receive a large array of opinions, but what you want to make sure you do NOT do is appear as if you are chasing them. Remember the cartoon with Pepe Lepeau, the stinky skunk who kisses at the feet of the women he attempts to attract? Remember how this never worked? Exactly. Don’t come across as desperate the last thing you want is for your ex to think of you as a creepy, slightly-crazy, needy individual. What works for you here is to give your ex their space during this time. Don’t call, text, e-mail, Facebook stalk, hide in their bushes, etc.

Really what you’re trying to do in this time is to appear self-sufficient and confident in yourself. Your ex does not ‘complete’ you, no matter what Hollywood tells you, and she or he must understand that you are a functional, interesting person with or without them.

It’s easy to get into a ‘funk’ and sit around for days or weeks after a breakup. Some grieving is to be expected, but like I said, the sooner you can continue to work on yourself, the better off you will be, and the more likely you will have the confidence and game plan to attract your ex back into your life.

If you think social media sites like Twitter, You Tube, Facebook, or Yelp are not important to you as a restaurant operator, hopefully  I can convince you that you are dead wrong.

Last week Nielson Online, the company that tracks online activity, reported that time spent on social networking sites is up 83 percent in the United States compared to just a year ago.   This is means that more of your current and potential customers are spending an increasing amount of time online.

One logically conclusion to be drawn from this trend is that restaurateurs must understand the new tools and rules of online social media, if they want to engage and influences their growing tech savvy audiences.   Equally important is the need to understand social media as a means of defending against its dark side.  This will require that you pay attention to what’s being said about you and your brand; and that, you engage directly in the conversations.

Social Media’s Dark Side

If you are like most restaurants, I am sure you have a great website complete with smiling service staff, sparkling clean cooks, and great food photos.  Now what difference will any of this make, if a YouTube search of your company’s name turns up a homemade video of a rodent infested kitchen posted by a disgruntle former employee.  Never mind  that the footage is fake, five years old, or from a restaurant with a similar name.   Your reputation is the one at risk.

This may sound unbelievable, but major brands like Taco Bell and Burger King have been faced with very embarrassing issues recently.  In February of 2007 Yum Brands, the parent company of Taco Bell and KFC made national headlines when someone posted a video of rats running about in one of their New York locations.   In August of 2008 Burger King attracted similar attention one when of their employees was videotaped taking a bath in the restaurant’s kitchen dish sink during the end of his shift.

Although both of these large fast-food operators have survive their brushes with social media, the scares are a permanent part of the internet’s memory.  One way to ensure that you are in a position to protect your reputation and brand is to be engage with your customers before something bad happens.  It is much easier for you to be heard and believed when you have already established a relationship with your online audience.  This is one compelling reason to embrace sites such as YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook.

Social Media’s Enlightened Opportunity

Social Media sites have also proven to be a very effective way to build, excite, and connect with a loyal following of customers and fans of your business.  This enlightened side of social media is probably the most important reason any restaurant operator would devote valuable resources to the subject.   I believe that restaurants have merely scratch the surface of ways to promote and grow their businesses online and through social media.

Take the story of Kogi’s Taco Truck for example.  The owners of the Los Angeles based mobile Korean Taco Truck recently started using Twitter to attract and communicate with customers.  In a matter of months the business has attracted national media attention and more than 30,000 Twitter followers.  Reports have been made of long lines of customers waiting, when Tweets(Twitter Posts) are sent announcing their pending arrival.   Kogi’s has definitely found a creative way of putting social media to a positive use.

In a similar fashion Panera Bread has incorporated one of the common uses of social media, “MeetUps” into its own online site.  MeetAtPanera.com allows consumers to schedule lunch or meetings at a local locations by sending electronic invites directly from the site.  This no doubt reinforces Panera’s image as an inviting place for groups to get together.  This counts as another clever use of social media’s new tools.

Given all of the above, I am not suggesting that the fundamentals of restaurant marketing have changed.  The goals of generating guest traffic and customer loyalty are the same.  The need to focus on branding, advertising, and promoting your products and services hasn’t changed either.  The dramatic shift is occurring with the “Tools” available to restaurant operators and the “Rules” of the game.  Ignoring these changes would be like a Buggy Whip Makers ignoring the invention of the car.  A better approach is to embrace the opportunities offered by social media and creatively shape them in enlighten ways. .  Also see the recent Restaurant and Institutions article for more tips.